other people’s opinions see also: things i refuse to care about

Untitled design (5).png

A lot of my reasoning behind doing things is you live and you die and that’s it. You are here today but you won’t be eventually and the idea of living a half-assed life because you are more concerned about everybody else’s opinions of yourself than you are about your own is stupid. If you think about it long and hard you realise it’s stupid, but we do it anyway.

Sometimes I feel trapped in everybody else’s opinions of me. In the comments about my attitude, my clothing, what I share online, on my mental illness and self harm scars.

And the problem (for them more than me) is that I’ve never really cared much about anybody else’s opinion enough to change anything about myself. But as a result of being myself in a world where people think they have a right to tell you who you should and shouldn’t be and what you can and can’t do because everybody else is or isn’t doing it I often find myself having discussions with people older than me, authority figures. By discussions I mean I listen as they talk and talk about everything and I listen because it’s 2019 but I’m still expected to listen and change according to what everybody but myself wants (unless (and this happens 99.9% of the time) I argue back, raise my voice, point out their flaws, expect them to be different, you know, everything they’re doing). And the conclusion always comes to the same thing: I need to change____(fill in the blank)

And lately I’ve been thinking about how I know a lot about myself but I still feel lost. I know writing and music keep me sane. I know nothing about my life is ever really stable, but I’ll always have cold floors to walk on and bare feet.

Everyone’s expected to change for everybody else but themselves and I don’t get that. I don’t get why my mission in life is expected to be pleasing other people like I’m a piece of clay for people to mould into what they want me to be.

And a part of me I hate cares sometimes about other people’s opinions, granted not all of them are utter trash but shouldn’t I be changing for me and not because people don’t agree with who I am?

The other day, I was thinking about how when I was younger, I had a fairly big bed but I’d always take the smallest space right in the corner. Like somehow I already knew I’d be expected to be petite, and polite and smaller than I actually was. Like somehow I knew eventually I’d be programmed to think I was taking up too much space in this world. But then again, it could be nothing more than a result of me typing this at 2am.

I think it’s odd how me not caring leads to conversations about all the reasons I should care.

Sometimes I think people forget that I’m not them. That I’ll never be what anybody other than myself wants to be simply because that’s not me and I’m too stubborn to do anything about it.

I’ve been strangled, kicked out of houses, insulted for being myself but you know if I had to do it all again I wouldn’t change a single thing.

18 has always appealed to me, and not just because I feel like a 24 year old in a 14 year old’s body all the time. But because I think of 18 and I think yeah, maybe things won’t be perfect. Maybe I’ll have a crappy job and my depression will still send me plummeting to new lows but it also means freedom. Freedom in a lot more ways than I have now, and I think that’s enough for me.

I’ll continue to be me til then. I’ll play my music too loud, spend more time in my journals and in my head than around people, drink my weight in Pepsi, talk feminism and mental health more often than I talk about the weather.

The idea of being anybody other than myself scares me a lot more than the consequences of doing so.

Hell, I’m lost enough being myself what would I be doing to myself if I actually cared about being a modified version of myself?

I’m just sick of being expected to be everybody else instead of myself. If I ever have kids I’d want to support them regardless of what page 21 of that magazine said, or the ideas we’ve introduced and allowed ourselves to carry on supporting like how boys shouldn’t cry, or I need to look and act a certain way because otherwise I’ll never find someone and all that other bullshit.

Gosh I could never be the kind of parent who makes their kid feel anything less than incredible for being themselves.

You want to paint the walls a colour bordering purple and navy blue with glow in the dark stars because you spend your nights staring at the sky thinking about everything and feeling more like yourself than you ever have? Let’s do it. You’re gay, lesbian, transgender, asexual, bisexual, aromantic, aro-ace, intersex, questioning, transsexual, pansexual or straight? I love you and not despite your identity, but because it’s you and I love you and nothing should change that if you actually mean it. If my son wants to grow his hair down to his ankles and my daughter feels better in jeans a shirt than she ever will in a dress or skirt then who the hell am I to tell someone who they are?

Especially as nobody, fully has any clue about the answer to that.

You spend your whole life questioning who you are? And by the time you’re on your deathbed you still only know fragments of the answer. Stop telling everybody who they can and can’t be, it’s like being an identity thief and punishing the victim for the crime.

You spend your whole life searching for fragments of who you are, and you think you can rob other people of their’s because you worry more about being judged than you do about making people hate themselves.

It’s been a while since I’ve rambled like this…
xxxChips

Advertisements

a self harm q+a

Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicidal ideations, self harm.

I couldn’t talk about this topic without putting a trigger warning because I do share my own experiences in here but I promise you reading this will do more good than it will bad. I hope that by speaking about this you realise that you are not alone and you realise that there is hope even if you can’t see or feel it.

I love you.

What was the moment that you first felt you had to take your pain out on your body?

I’ve always been the kind of person who was in my head in a lot. When I was younger (I’d say from the age of 8) I was really social and bubbly and extroverted but I also spent a bunch of time in my room, thinking about everything and feeling overwhelmingly sad for reasons I didn’t understand. I have this distinct memory of being in my bedroom and looking out my window (it had bars) and feeling like I was trapped. And my thinking process was kind of like I’m trapped in my room, in my complex in this country, on this earth, inside the universe. I can’t get out

I had a little bench in my room and I’d sit there looking out my window just thinking that over and over again. And I was 9 when I first stumbled upon the phrase depression, I was reading The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants at the time and I was like ‘that’s it, that’s the word for how I feel.’ and I went on Google and looked up the symptoms and looking at the symptoms for me was the same as you checking off every item on a to-do list.

And I told my brother, and he thought I was being dramatic. I totally don’t blame him for this at all, I did drama every day of the week whether it was at school or practicing in my bedroom, I had a dramatic flair and I had a habit of diagnosing myself off the internet (turns out I did not have cancer the one time I had a headache). And I never, not once until I was about 12 did I give any signs that I was depressed. I was happy in front of people, I smiled, I laughed, I danced, I sang and watched movies and played dress-up. So there was no way he, or anyone other than myself would have known.

I was sad for a very long time before the pain became increasingly worse. The first time I self harmed I was 12, and I had a friend at the time (we’d met online) who self harmed too and at first I was the one trying my best to be there for her and support her and we’d talk everyday after school (we both lived in Joburg, and had mutual friends) and we’d bond over our love of Hayley Kiyoko and Halsey.

And then over that period I just started to feel more depressed, worse than I ever had before. I cannot describe it in any other way than my soul hurt, picture yourself being stabbed and you can feel the pain but it’s kind of numbed and dull, and that’s a fraction of how I felt. Everything was heavy, I cried a lot, didn’t want to get out bed, wasn’t hungry or was overeating, could barely bring myself to even brush my teeth, fought with my mum nearly every day. And then one day I couldn’t feel anything. And a part of me was scared, because when you are that young or any age for that matter there are few things worse than being numb. You don’t care about yourself, you don’t care about people, you don’t care about the world.

And so the first time I cut myself I did it to feel something.

Times after that were either to feel or to get rid of an urge.

And if you’re wondering what urges are like, from a poem I wrote “A hot fiery, sense consuming urge to rip myself to shreds because I didn’t want to breathe.”

 

What is the first step in the road to recovery?

I will be the first person to admit that I don’t talk about recovery often because I still have a lot of days where I feel like recovery isn’t an option for me and I’m not going to go into much detail because I am still figuring this out.

But I will say the first step, for me at least, was admitting and understanding that the way I was and was feeling and what I was doing to myself physically, emotionally and mentally wasn’t okay.

Step two, this wasn’t the order in which I did it but the order in which I wish I had, was realising that recovery doesn’t happen overnight. You might relapse, more than once (I have), medication won’t suddenly fix your problems nor will rehab, recovery looks different to everyone and recovery doesn’t just start outwards but inwards as well. Recovery is not linear there are high and lows and in-betweens, and you are allowed to feel hopeless and miserable and hate everything about yourself  BUT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO STAY THAT WAY. Don’t you dare stay that way.

The rest of the journey is different for everyone. Coping tips help. Therapy helps. Youtube helps. The right people help. Medication helps.

 

Do you hide your scars?

It depends. Fresh cuts are never seen by anyone until they are healed because that’s potentially triggering. But the scars on my arms I don’t hide and I still wear shorts despite my heavily scarred thigh. And at the end of the day whether or not you show your scars is up to you, but they are nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody copes differently and at the end of the day that is how you coped and nobody has any right to make you feel bad about that, a big F*UCK YOU to anybody who makes you feel anything less beautiful because of your scars.

There are ways of hiding your scars and still wearing short sleeves and shorts, and at some point maybe I’ll write a list that I hope you use for the right reasons because I understand what it’s like to have people judge you and have to listen to comments about your trauma like it’s the next bit of celebrity gossip (which is wrong btw).

Hide them if you want, but please get help. If not for yourself, then for me, the girl on the internet writing this who has been there and continues to go there but is trying really hard not to.

You are an incredible being, you don’t deserve to hate yourself, and I will love you until you are ready to love yourself and continue to do so after.

I write for you, nobody else.

What advice would you give someone in the same mental state you were in when you began to self harm?

Talk to someone even if it’s not your parents.My friends were amazing to me and they supported me when I couldn’t support myself but if that isn’t an option for you, there are resources. My DMs and email are always open. I promise you I will not think you’re a nuisance, or a bother or irritating or any of the other irrational things your mind is telling you right now. I have a disorder that causes my mood to change so frequently I could be at an ultimate low and wouldn’t message anyone because I’d be manic pretty soon, and please DON’T DO WHAT I DO. It’ll pass yes, but in that moment when you feel low, I don’t want you to scroll through your contact list and feel like you have nobody to call or message.

I can tell you the number of times a friend has told me they were sad/ depressed/ considering self harm/suicide/ having an urge/ anxious/confused and I’ve turned them away:

ZERO!

And I can guarantee that number will stay at zero for as long as I am breathing.

Find people to support you, even if it’s people who don’t know you. I watched so much Youtube back then and even now I have a folder called for the bad days full of videos, I watched Dodie, Jenna Alexis, Zannah, Isabel. Find people who make you feel like you’re not alone, make you smile (even if you’re not ready to get out of bed yet).

Start a blog. Walk around barefoot. Draw. Rip paper to shreds. Organise your books according to colour.

DON’T WATCH ANYTHING TRIGGERING ON PURPOSE. Stay the hell away from searching self harm accounts, watching videos of people talking about stays in psych wards (if you think it’ll trigger you), showing self harm, anything that could trigger you needs to be kept very far away from you.

I used to watch those because a part of me enjoyed feeling sick, feeling bad, feeling like the trash of the planet, a part of me couldn’t imagine a day where I didn’t want to die and so I’d watch those on purpose IT DOESN’T HELP.

I know you don’t want to feel alone, I know you want to feel understood, but there are ways that aren’t going to hurt you emotionally and mentally.

What support should be provided for vulnerable young people?

  1. Therapy needs to be made more affordable and more accessible and so does medication
  2. Mental health needs to be talked at in school(NOT JUST ONCE A YEAR) and at home
  3. We need to do more to listen and support instead of judging
  4. Encourage people to talk about their feelings, say no to toxic masculinity, say no to the idea of perfection
  5. We need to stop making people feel more broken than they already feel.

What should you do if a friend is self-harming?

I’d say research what self harm is and why people self harm, try to understand why people self harm and then taking what you’ve learnt speak to your friend and ask them what’s going on. It’s not always going to be this big event that caused them to feel this way. Listen, try to understand, support them in the best way you know how and I don’t mean smother them with advice or force them to go out.

Be there for them. Show them the love they can’t give themselves at the moment. Don’t be judgmental, don’t make them feel guilty, don’t give them ultimatums or expect them to go into recovery overnight.

And I’m going to be 100% honest with you, sometimes telling an adult or their parents does more bad than good and other times telling them does more good than bad. And it differs in every situation, so really it’s up to you to decide but whatever your choice is you need to try your best to make sure that your friend is going to get the support they need.

If you have any more questions leave them in the comments, it’s kind of hard to trigger me so don’t worry about asking anything personal.

xxxChips

Friday 6PM ft. Gracie

Get to Know Me Questions

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?
•15 years old •Self confessed rebel & revolutionary •Sailor girl in love with the ocean. •Writer and spoken word poet •Wild child with my head permanently in the clouds •Feels and thinks wayyy too much •Night thinker – daydreamer •Fueled by aesthetics & adrenaline •Can usually be found swimming laps of a pool, up a tree with my head in a notepad or a book, drinking strong coffee, singing along to my never-ending playlist or sarcastically arguing with people for the sheer fun of it •Will dance with you at 2am •Wearer of bracelets (I have sixteen that I don’t take off) • doesn’t have the answers, but will always try to use my words and my actions to help others •Wants to work as a sailor/youth worker to pursue my passion in life and make a difference in the lives and futures of my generation •free spirit™

What things would you say have shaped you as a person?
The way that my parents have raised me to do everything I can to be a light in the darkness and help others, the pain and negativity I see all around me in my generation and the future they’re facing, discovering the world of sailing, falling in love with the ocean and experiencing the difference if made in my life and the lives of others.

 What’s your big goal for this year?
My family and I are taking on a mega challenge this year to raise money for a charity that transforms the lives and futures of young people in need. My main goal is to complete and to be successful in that challenge – even though it’s definitely not going to be easy. Keep an eye out for a post on my blog with all the deets and how you can get involved to help me achieve that goal…coming soon…
Also, just to be the best, most confident, capable, compassionate version of myself that I can be- and to learn to kitesurf 😉

 What could you give a 40 minute presentation on with no preparation?
How young people can and should stand up for what they believe in and make a difference. I’d probably find a way to bring sailing and the hugely positive effect it has on young people’s lives into it. I’m highkey obsessed haha

Which skill would you like to master?
Spoken word/slam poetry. The rhythm, the performance, the power, the ability to express your message with so much emotion and clarity – it’s pure magic. I write a lot, but I struggle with the performance element (it always sounds so much better in my head lol). I’d love to master that and be able to pack a punch with my words.
Some of my favourite spoken word poems are called Cigarettes by James Hartzer, Text Me by Los Angeles Team and An Origin Story by Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay. They’re all on YouTube 🙂

What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you
could experience it for the first time again?
I just – I have no words for the 2hrs 20mins of feels that the movie Dead Poets Society gives you. It’s the most beautiful, raw, emotional film I’ve ever watched and the lessons it teaches you on teenage mental health, conformity and creativity are truly life-changing. Just go watch it.Now. Plus it’s about poetry sooo *shrugs* even better 🙂

Also, I would’ve said a song, but I’m way too in love with music to be able to pick just one. Same with books, actually. Could never even begin to choose.

 Who inspires you?
My parents. The strength that it takes to raise a family to live and think differently is immense, especially in our society. Their constant dedication to creating a better future for their own children and for other young people inspires me every day.

My friends and other young people of my generation. They struggle so much and yet they are so brave. They fight back against this society that oppresses them. They hang in there even though it hurts and I’m so proud of them for it.

The crew of the boats I sail. They are such positive role-models – people that give their lives to share their passion with my generation and to try and make a difference in our lives. Through sailing, I have met some incredible individuals and, one day, I hope to be like them. Finally, strangers. Every time I hear of someone doing something good in the world, it inspires me to keep going.

Untitled design (3)

 

General Mental Health Questions

Have you ever had to deal with negative reactions when you’ve opened up about your mental health, and what advice would you have for others?
On the whole I’ve been really lucky to have family and friends who’ve always been supportive, but something I have come across a lot is young people my age shying away from having these discussions about mental health because they’re ‘too deep’ or ‘too serious’.

As a generation, our relationships have become quite shallow and that’s something I really struggle with. I’ve tried to talk to certain friends about my own mental health, their mental health or even just a slightly more serious topic and I’ve found that they will try and avoid discussing it – even when they’re clearly struggling and it’s clearly so important to open up. I’ve also had a lot of experiences with friends making stupid jokes about mental health and suicide even though I know they themselves struggle with depression, self harm, eating disorders, etc.

I think they’re afraid of the vulnerability and so to joke about what’s going on inside their head is so much easier. To me, that is wrong. Mental health/suicide is not a joke and laughing about it will not make you better.

We need to raise awareness and say ‘Look, opening up…communication…sharing your struggles….they are the only way to move forward and get better – you can’t do it alone. There are people who care so whatever you do, don’t push them away. Vulnerability and openness are not a weakness and anyway, sometimes it’s okay to be weak. Sometimes that’s where we’ve got to start’

How do you think parents could be more understanding of their teens’ mental health?
Our parents grew up in a different society to us – the struggles and issues we face now are not the same as what they’ve experienced in their lifetimes. If we communicate with them and try to explain to them what we’re going through, then they must try to understand us by putting themselves in our shoes.

Untitled design (3)

 

Rapid Fire Questions

Why do you think it’s still so difficult for people to get help when mental health is
becoming something more and more people are being made aware of?
People are aware of mental health, but I don’t think it’s totally normalised yet. Mental illnesses have become a label and people don’t associate mental health as something that could affect them. It’s de-personalised. Another thing that I think really contributes to mental health is how self-centred our society is – if we had more community and people sharing their lives, I think there would a much better and stronger support network for people struggling with mental health.

What’s your opinion on adults expecting teens to behave maturely but then treating
them like kids when they’re vocal about important matters?
As a teenager, I’m always joking that I’m too young for half the stuff I want to do and too old for the other half. We have to break those stereotypes. Yeah, I’m a teenager, but I’ll still join in and share my valid opinions when I hear adults talking about issues that affect me, my generation and my future. Yes, I’m a teenager, but I’m still going to run around in the rain and watch Disney movies. Get used to it 🙂

What is one thing you wish you could tell teens all over the world?
Look around you. This is the world we are growing up in. This is our future and the future of the generations to come – our children, our grandchildren. Is this what we want for them? If we don’t stand up and do something now we are the ones who will suffer for it. Dream, dream big, dream of the world you want to create, then make it happen. Don’t tear down your peers – build them up. Come together, we are so much stronger that way. Vive la révolution!

Also, go sailing – you won’t regret it 😉

What is one thing you wish you could tell adults all the world?
You’re struggling too, we get that, but please, listen to the young people, help us, share your experience with us. We’re not perfect either and we don’t have all the answers, but together we can make the future brighter. Be good role models and reach out to the young people in your lives and communities – it makes a difference.
Also, stop caring so much about materialistic things – they will soon be useless if you don’t do something now to make the future better.

Untitled design (3)

Give Advice To Someone…

Who struggles with comparison?
Just….don’t. Please. It will only make you more unhappy. It’s so easy to compare yourself to others, but it’s so much more powerful to make the conscious decision to say to yourself ‘Stop, that’s not who I am. This is me and this is what makes me beautiful and unique. I am going to be the best version of myself that I can.’ Once you’re on that journey, comparing yourself to others will just slow you down. So please, put them to one side (it’s hard I know, but it’s so worth it). Focus on you and be strong.

Another thing….again I know it’s not easy….but once you stop focusing on your physical
appearance, the sense of freedom is incredible. I still care about what I look like and want to look good, but some days I’m like ‘does it really matter if I go to the supermarket in sweatpants with my hair in a messy bun?’ or ‘does it really matter if I get covered in mud and grass stains and if my hair goes wild?’ and I just go for it and as amazing and empowering as it is to feel beautiful, it’s also pretty awesome just to not care every once in awhile.

There are so many sad eyes on pretty faces. Can we all stop valuing physical beauty over our own happiness and mental health, please?

Who wants to be their own person but finds themselves following others?
It’ll take you awhile to realise this, but once you do, I swear you’ll never feel the same way again. Different is cool, different is awesome, different is fascinating. Different is not weird or ugly or unacceptable or unlovable. Why on earth would you follow everyone else when you could be so much more? There is a world out there and you have a place in it, you just need to explore and to find it. And you will, I promise 🙂 Something I try to live by is this: Always try to do the right thing, even if no one else will. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, even if you walk alone. Don’t isolate yourself from others, accept them for who they are and love them for it, but don’t become like them just for the sake of fitting in.

Who wants to learn to accept themselves?
I guess I’ve kind of answered this in the previous question and the question about comparison, but I’ll say it again – ‘Once you make the decision to be yourself, you are free from the chains and the pressure of society and you can truly begin to make a difference in the lives of others’

Who is being fat shamed but isn’t overweight?
I’m being totally honest when I say that I never look at anyone else and think ‘she/he is ugly’. If people are pointing out the negatives – it’s probably because they themselves are insecure. I know it’s hard, but why let someone’s irrelevant judgement and opinion of you affect you? I can assure you it’s not how the majority of people see you. If you’re feeling really strong, reach out to that person. Communicate with them. Maybe you’ll have a positive effect on them? Maybe you’ll give them a new perspective and change the way they look at things forever?

Who has a lot of fake friends and finds it difficult to stand up for themselves?
Be real. Stay true to who you are and what you believe in. Never stop searching for true
friendship and connection and if there are people worth fighting for then fight.
Tbh, as for practical advice, I’d say start a blog (if you haven’t already), you meet so many
like-minded people who are always there for you, people you can change the world with, plus you have a space where you can be entirely yourself and express your honest thoughts and feelings 💙

 Who struggles to trust people because of bad past experiences?
It’s not easy to let go. That’s something I struggle with too, but you’ve got to ask yourself – is this really how I want to live my life – scared of trusting anyone, scared to love, scared of putting my heart in someone else’s hands? Sometimes, in order to move on, you’ve got to take that first brave step….remember, there are people who love you, there are people who care, there are people who are good and kind. They are there for you. They’ve probably all had their heart broken at some point or another and yet they have come through it stronger and wiser than before. You will too.

Gracie’s Blog

Round The UK On A Tenner A Day Instagram

I started blogging because I needed a space where I didn’t feel restricted when it came to voicing my opinions and sharing my emotions and I found that, I found this amazing community of people who’ve changed my perspective about and opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I’m a better person because of those people.

From the very beginning, mental health was always something I wanted to talk about because it’s something very close to my heart and something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Right from the get go I told myself that someday I would talk about my own issues, that, I would do it regardless… Continue reading FRIDAY 6PM

Lets chat (4)

xxxChips

civil war

Trigger warning:mentions self harm and suicidal ideations

On my best days I scream from rooftops. On my worst I become a shell. The opposite of everything I want to be. I wallow in my thoughts, flounder in my tears, allow myself to become prisoner to my illness. I smile and say ‘I’m okay’, I laugh, I flirt, I am the definition of beautiful madness. And then when everyone goes back to their lives I turn off the lights and bury myself under bedsheets the same way I would be 6 feet under.

And I convince my brain that I’m not okay, that I need to try my coping mechanisms and so I run my hands under cold water and draw on myself with markers till I look like artwork. The world’s definition of beauty. But my eyes betray me. Red not from hash but from war. I am fighting my own mind.

It says Drown. Recovery says Swim. I compromise Float. In between both.

It says Cut. Recovery says Colour. I compromise, Both. I cut anyway tinting my skin red.

It says Stop Breathing. Recovery says Deep breaths. I give short panicky painful I- Can’t-Breathe ones.


“The Civil War!”

“The war we fought against ourselves.”

“You actually studied this?

“I’m living it.”

some mental health resources

Apps

(These are all free btw)

-Huddle

Available for: IOS

Talk through it together.

Huddle is an app for IOS users, it makes it super easy to talk about things you’re passionate about/struggling with, with people who have the same interests or have been in similar situations. They’re tons of groups for you to join about everything from body image to self harm to gaming. Share your thoughts, share your feelings, give advice, get advice but most importantly know that you’re not alone.

Unfortunately Huddle isn’t available for android users just yet but you can join the waiting list and be notified as soon as it is

-Bacon-The Game

Available for: IOS; Android

The rules are simple. Put bacon on everything. I personally use this app as a distraction and it works really well. Within minutes I’ve gone to stressed out to intensely focused on making sure my streak of bacon lands on Mona Lisa.

-Pacifica

Available for: Android; IOS

Do you ever feel like you don’t know how to just ‘be’ anymore? I remember when I had my first major depressive episodes, I eventually came out of it and I didn’t know how to go through a day and feel normal. I lacked interest in EVERYTHING, getting out of bed was one of the hardest things I had to do and I was barely eating because I had zero appetite.I use this app every day (at least I try to) to track my mood, journal if I don’t feel like writing and handle depressive episodes. The app offers a goals section

Calm Harm

Available for: IOS; Android;Online

The urge to self-harm is like a wave. Calm Harm is an app that helps you manage the urge to self harm using activities that fall into groups: Comfort, Distract, Express Yourself, Release, Random and Breathe. I’ve been using Calm Harm for the longest time, and it’s one of the most helpful apps I’ve ever come across. It’s available for IOS and Android users and FREE

 

FOR THE BAD DAYS

-MY TUMBLR

2019-03-02

So I recently started a Tumblr page because I needed a new creative outlet and there’s something really relaxing about spending hours on Pinterest looking for images to perfect the aesthetic I have going on on my Tumblr page. And I’ve gotta say, there’s something really therapeutic about looking at photos of cake😂🙈

Other tips:

  • Write a letter to yourself/ a friend
  • Write
  • Draw
  • Watch Netflix
  • Run your hands under cold water
  • Cry
  • Read  a book
  • Hold ice cubes
  • Clean up
  • Make a crisis box
  • Swear in another language
  • Memorize a poem
  • Tear paper
  • Call a friend/therapist/helpline
  • Listen to music
  • Take a nap

*I do not own the featured image on this post

xxxChips

 

what i’ve been listening to lately #2

Just more songs I’ve been loving lately…

wow//post malone

 

hold tight//sabrina carpenter

 

broken//THEY ft. jessie reyez

“I’ll lie and say I didn’t come broken, I’ll lie and say you did it”

 

3 nights//dominic fike

“You can call me names if you call me yours”

 

bad guy//billie eilish

“so you’re a tough guy//like it really rough guy//just can’t get enough guy//chest always so puffed guy//i’m that bad type make your mama sad type//make your girlfriend mad type//might seduce your dad type”

 

What have you been listening to lately? Admittedly, I should probably be studying instead of blogging but my first 3 finals (yup, we’re writing three in a day) are English paper 1 and 2 and Turkish. I never study for English, just because I write everyday and read a bunch. But I want to clarify that I have no idea how I’ve been passing Turkish so far but guessing hasn’t failed me yet.

xxxChips